Como padres podemos llegar a dudar hasta qué punto estamos disciplinando y en dónde ya se considera maltrato, entonces ¿cómo educo a mis pequeños si yo crecí con gritos, nalgadas y castigos? ¿Cómo puedo prevenir el maltrato involuntario? Los especialistas te comparten aquí una guía general.

Por: Mosaico Medios

A veces se confunde la disciplina con la violencia y no es lo mismo. Uno puede ser muy firme y exigir disciplina sin ser violento porque la violencia es innecesaria. La violencia siempre se puede prevenir y en ningún caso es aceptable. 

En general, se deben de poner límites sin golpes y los límites siempre deben ir encaminados a dos objetivos: 

1. Que el niño(a) se dé cuenta de que hizo un daño (“ya tiré y está mal porque rompí o dañé algo”).
2. Que puedan resarcir el daño (“ahora tengo que recoger y secar”). 

La disciplina debe ir dirigida a formar personas autónomas, no en el sentido de que tienen que portarse bien porque sino van a recibir un castigo o un golpe, sino porque de esta manera logran comprender que las reglas tienen una razón de ser en el mundo y son necesarias para la coexistencia. 

¿Cómo ser firmes sin caer en actitudes negativas para los niños?

• Estableciendo claramente los límites. Con esto nos referimos a que decir solamente “Pórtate bien” no le deja claro al niño(a) qué tiene que hacer, debemos desglosar bien qué es lo que esperamos de ellos: “recoge tus zapatos”, “tiende tu cama”, “báñate todos los días”, “no le pegues a tu hermanito”, como ejemplos.
• Enunciar consecuencias lógicas y congruentes. Esto se refiere a que hay que decirles a los pequeños que si, por ejemplo, rompieron algo deben pegarlo o repararlo de alguna manera, si no tendieron su cama hay que tenderla y yo mamá o papá no me muevo hasta que suceda, es decir, que no hay otra opción y aclarar cuál es la consecuencia de lo que hicieron o dejaron de hacer.

¿Cómo prevenir el maltrato involuntario?

1. Primero debemos hacernos conscientes como padres o tutores de que podemos ser violentos aún sin quererlo o sin ser intencional, debemos detectar cuando lo hagamos e intentar corregirlo, es decir, si ya me di cuenta de que cada vez que me enojo grito e insulto entonces intento hacerlo diferente la próxima vez, puede ser que tenga que darme un tiempo fuera y alejarme para calmarme desde que empiezo a exasperar.
2. Colocar reglas firmes, constantes y congruentes. Nos referimos a que no sólo exijo que recojan cuando vengo de malas y que cuando estoy de buenas les permito que no levanten nada, porque ellos no entenderán bien cómo están las reglas y entonces no las acatarán todas las veces, lo que puede provocar que entonces lleguemos a un punto violento cuando no lo hacen y yo vengo cansado(a) o harto(a).
3. Ser más asertivos cada vez y aprender a sobrellevar las emociones negativas como la frustración y el enojo. Éstas emociones frecuentemente se relacionan y se lidian con vicios para disminuirlas y no es la manera adecuada de sobrellevarlas. Debemos aprender a manejar de forma sana nuestras emociones negativas.

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